i literally come to school every day and i sit in class and all i think about is how much i hate everyone here. 
today my body hates me. it feels gross and sore and unhappy. 
last night i was texting one of my "exes" josh really randomly and he thinks i'm unhappy now. lol and i was really high so i thought it was so funny when he told me how i have so much going for me and how he was basically trying to cheer me up and make me see that i have things to look forward to so i shouldn't be sad. lol it was nice of him but i really didn't need a lecture on being happy. 
i made a list of my physical insecurities and it's not a very happy list. 
lastly i think i'm getting over mr. douche bag. it's not that i wouldn't hook up with him if i was drunk or that i have no feelings for him. i do they just aren't as strong and vibrant as they were a month ago. i don't want to try and pursue hooking up with him. i will always care about him, i don't know why but i know i always will. i just don't want him like i used to. 


thingz are lookin up but also looking down.